Serenity Now, Insanity Later
by bunnyb
Summary: The scouts attempt to write their own episode...


1 Serenity Now, Insanity Later  
  
1.1 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the references they make.  
  
AN: I hereby dedicate my first fanfic to my sister for convincing me to write and thecoffeebringer (Mande) for convincing me to post!  
  
"Now let's go find that magazine with that quasi-naked chick," said Michiru.  
  
"Deal," said all the other girls (except for Lita and Haruka - they were engaged in a deadly staring contest outside).  
  
"Let's just make this into a backwards episode like on Seinfield, and call it a night," said Bunny.  
  
"What are we going to tell the producers?" asked Michiru.  
  
"Yeah, you win some, you lose some," said Raye.  
  
"Well, it looks like planning our own episode was a bust," said Bunny.  
  
"Aye caramba," said Mina.  
  
"Don't encourage them!" yelled Amy.  
  
"Get ready to RUMBLE! Today's episode - the battle of the century!" said Hotaru, pretending to be a WWF announcer. "Jupiter vs. Uranus - kids, get your parents' credit cards ready!"  
  
"I think this definitely needs to be taken outside," said Lita.  
  
"You and those stupid monkeys. Maybe YOU should marry one. That would make for an interesting episode: Sailor Slut and Monkey Butt - the episode you don't wanna miss!" guffawed Haruka.  
  
"I've got a better idea! Animal marriages! What would the offspring of a Bohemian monkey and a hamster bent on world domination look like?" cried Lita.  
  
"How about we do a segment on marriages? Famous couples throughout the past and future," said Rini. "Maybe we could do some clips on Helios and I."  
  
"Girls, please. We don't have any money to give away hundred-dollar checks either way," said Amy rationally.  
  
"You wanna take this outside?"  
  
"Maybe I am, and maybe I am," responded Lita.  
  
"Are you suggesting something?" said Haruka.  
  
"We could do a show like an episode of Maury. Man or Woman - Guess the Sex, Get Hundred Dollar Checks," offered Lita.  
  
"Oh, yeah."  
  
"But we do that every episode," said Mina.  
  
"Why don't we do an episode where there's some inner conflict amongst the group, but we all come together to fight the enemy, who is after some man/woman/child/pet we just met, and we can all team up, beat the enemy, and realize that friendship is more important than inner conflict!" suggested Amy.  
  
"Um, no," said Hotaru.  
  
"Well, then it can be a show about me!"  
  
"Yeah, but nobody has that kind of talent except you," said Rini.  
  
"Okay, song and dance is out," said Michiru. "But maybe we could do something artsy, or musical."  
  
"Girls, girls, please, we have a show to do here!" said Setsuna.  
  
"I just might."  
  
"You got a problem with that, Ten'ou?"  
  
"Oh, you couldn't pick something NORMAL, like Sumatran Rat Monkeys, noooo, it has to be Bohemian ones," said Haruka.  
  
"Only if it involves Bohemian monkeys," said Lita.  
  
"I think we should all do a song and dance number," said Mina.  
  
"Anyway, back to the show," said Hotaru.  
  
"Y'know Ames, the ghetto-fab look doesn't actually suit you very well," said Bunny.  
  
"Look yo, I may be ghetto-fabulous, but I'm not cashing in for the sexual benefits of millions of lusty dirty movie lovers," said Amy.  
  
"Wow, Amy, I didn't know you were so hot!" said Michiru.  
  
"Hey, maybe that WAS Amy that we saw on that German video!" exclaimed Haruka.  
  
"Right, right," said Setsuna.  
  
"Dudes, I'm not like that!"  
  
"Amy!" the others exclaimed.  
  
"What makes you think I was referring to the sexual connotation, Amy?" retorted Hotaru.  
  
"Get your mind out of the gutter, you ding-a-ling, I was referring to the chocolate," said Amy.  
  
"Ho?" asked Hotaru.  
  
"Maybe you should lay off the Ho-Ho's," said Amy.  
  
"You have been putting on a little weight lately," said Lita, giving Raye a critical once-over.  
  
"No, I think Bunny's actually right for once," said Mina.  
  
"Tons of people want to look at me!" cried Raye.  
  
"Nobody wants to look at you, except maybe for a pack of druken wildebeast," said Bunny.  
  
"We should open with a huge close up of me, because I'm gorgeous," said Raye.  
  
"Yeah, whatever," said Haruka.  
  
"I'm 903, thankyouverymuch," retorted Rini.  
  
"Don't flatter yourself kid, you're like 10 or something!" said Bunny.  
  
"What kind of retard would let a bunch of teenagers write a show?" asked Rini.  
  
"Awesome," said Haruka.  
  
"That is so cool!" exclaimed Mina.  
  
"We have been commissioned to write our own episode of the show!"  
  
"Oooo, tell us more, tell us more," chorused the girls.  
  
"Well, I've got a project for all of us."  
  
"Why did you call us all here, Bunny?"  
  
Dissuading the situation, Hotaru asked Bunny why she called them all here.  
  
"Really Raye, have a little respect. You have no justification for accusing Bunny of something so heinous!" added Michiru.  
  
"Raye, don't ever say the t-word again!" wept Mina.  
  
GASP from all girls.  
  
"Well, at least I don't dress in 80's tapered jeans!"  
  
"Raye, YOU look like Michael Jackson before the plastic surgery," said Bunny.  
  
"Now that I'm taking a closer look, that chick kind of looks like Michael Jackson before all the major plastic surgery," said Raye.  
  
"Well, it's a quality brush," replied Haruka.  
  
"You would need a whole pot of gold for that?" asked Rini.  
  
"Demand that you tell me the location of your pot of gold so that I could buy a new Oral B," answered Haruka.  
  
"What would you do if I suddenly turned into a small, green leprechaun?" queried Setsuna.  
  
"Uh, well, I'm sure there's someone."  
  
"Name one," said Lita.  
  
"Some people prefer guys like that," said Amy.  
  
"It beats looking at the mime in a g-string over there. He's not even buff," responded Michiru.  
  
"So explain to me again why we're looking at almost naked chicks?" asked Raye.  
  
"Oh, well, y'know, that explains it."  
  
"Dude, she is naked," replied Mina.  
  
"Dude, from this angle, that chick looks like she's naked," said Bunny.  
  
One day, the Sailor Scouts were hanging out at Bunny's house. 


End file.
